Forever In My Heart

It's crazy how sometimes we take things for granted. This weekend I experienced something I never had before. Something I never wanted to. I knew it would happen one day.....but not like this. My oldest male cousin was killed in Montgomery Al. a week ago today. As I write this it still doesn't seem real. I just remember the last time I saw him and that conversation replays in my mind over and over. Never thought that would have been the last time. This is tough. To all of those who have experience such pain my heart goes out to you and yours. And to the ones who lost their lives in the struggle REST IN PEACE. Love always "Beam"


Why

One evening I was watching reruns on the screen
The 1st 48 is one of those interesting things

I tried to go to sleep but then my phone rings
My cousin is on the line saying the craziest things

He is dead he is dead
She repeats on the line

I hear her clearly but could she say it one more time
I don't wanna hear I don't wanna believe

I can't think I can't breathe
Because what I was just viewing is now real life to me

He died on the scene is what repeats in my mind
What was on his mind

As he took his last breath
I don't know what step is next

Saw him the other day
He smiled went on his way

Never thought that would be the last day
Would’ve said more than what I did say

He's not gone
My heart hurts this is wrong

If 2nd chances were given
He'd still be living

And I wouldn't be writing this poem
He'd be home

R.I.P. Kareem Troutman

MzP

How It Is

Tell me when
Its wrong for me to pretend
Cause when I'm me
I can't be
Never right
Always wrong
No matter how I try
Still can't get along
Still not sure where I belong
Left didn't work
And right wasn't the way
So broke now if it was attention
I couldn't pay
I can talk
But I can't afford to say
Some of the things I want
Some of the things I should
But would you listen
If you could
Prolly not cause you never do
It was my point
In writing this letter to you
I tried and now I'm thru
Time for being true
To the one I should have all along
Peace & love baby
I'm gone

MzP

To my readers:

I've missed yall....hope all is well...take care...I'll be stoppin thru soon!! Hope u haven't forgotten abt ME!

Songs In The Key of Desire

What up Nu Skool, tu estas muy bonita Mamacita
I see your Pretty Brown Eyes peeping at My Adidas
I ain’t Yearning for a Roni but you’re a P.Y.T.
So Fine it’s Mind Blowing - the only Ten I see (get it)
Your lips look Juicy and ready to Kiss
But I’ll Walk On By because U Can’t Touch This
Back In The Day I would’ve put you to sleep
But since I’m not Still A Player I refuse to Creep
I can’t front though You Got Me Hangin’ On A String
We’re not on an Escapade, but We Got Our Own Thing
They say that The Best Things In Life Are Free
I can barely hear the Radio so please Pump It Hottie
That’s The Way I Like It now let’s hit the After Party
There’s No Future In Your Frontin, so spare me the Ladidadi
I Like The Way you Flirt so I’m playing your game
I Feel Good that I Got You trying to catch my Love Train

And on that train I'm ridin
Theres No Denyin
That Outta My System I'm tryin
But I Can't Leave Em Alone
Even though we both know that A House Is Not a Home
And like my papa My Boo is a Rolling Stone
But to give up on my Sweet Thing
And all the love that he brings
Shit I Ain't Too Proud 2 Beg
I just want to lay you down in my BED
Stroke You Up and turn you out
See what the Freek N You is really about
My name I'm tryin to get you to shout
Over and over and over again
Let's not pretend
Like you didn't know me back when

Yeah, but back then I was known as a Heartbreaker
The brother that could BumpNGrind till the Housequake
Until The Cops Come Knockin’ at 6 In The Mornin’
It’s only fair that I give you a fair Warning
I Ain’t The One to date just because I’m Paid
In Full – I might be Ol’ Skool but I Got It Made
I Laffy Taffy at the connotation that I’m Weak
I’m not a Superman Lover, but I am a Super Freak
I prefer to stay Faithful but I’ll Take You There
My Honey Love is at Home and She’s Always In My Hair
So if we keep it on the Down Low we might Get By
I just thought you should know that I’m Somebody Else’s Guy
So although I’m Addicted To Love I need to Pass The Peas
Get off the Midnight Train To Georgia and catch some Z’s
But just in case I have a Change Of Heart and decide to wander
Baby, Don’t Forget My Number.

I got your number
This I'll keep
When thinkin of you
You Remind Me Of My Jeep
Playin Hard To Get
Acting brand new
It's Getting Late
And I really wanna see you
Kiss my lips...erase my frown
Tell me how you like it when I go Downtown
All Night Long let me know if you can stay
These Little Games That We Play
Has got to be My Way
So let me know if I'm being demanding
Not Understanding
The fact that you're someone else's fella
The fact that I stood under your Umbrella
And you told me I would be safe
And that proves not to be the case
You're like burnt toast out the toaster
Thank you for this Emotional Rollercoaster

That’s my Bad, I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On Tonight
You should know a little Something, Something Just Ain’t Right
You Make Me Wanna Holla by the way that you stand
In the corner telling other fellas “I Got A Man”
If it weren’t for my Wifey, I would let you Do Me daily
But Please, Please, Please Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby
You’re tempting me to stray Oh, Baby I’m not gonna
But You’ve Got The Look Hot Thang and You Make Me Wanna…
But no, you won’t be able to handle this Midwest Swang
Cause when this New Jack Swing I’ll make you act Strange
So Get With The Program and Leave It Alone
Even though That Look In Your Eye says “Let’s Get It On”
However if you really Push It you could be my Private Joy
Or maybe a Private Dancer I’d be willing to employ
And If I Ever Fall In Love Again It Could Be You
But right now I’ve Got To Do What I’ve Got to Do
So Let’s Chill…

Chill?
I think not
You must have forgot
Just how replaceable you really are
And I'm not Wishin On a Star
Because I've learned
To just let it Burn
And move on to something new
Something true
Cause If Your Girl Only Knew
How often you like to
Do You
I'll admit that you had me Trippin
Had me slippin
And this I cannot take
My heart I need you to Unbreak
Away from you is Where I Wanna Be
And One Sweet Day you'll get the chance to see
Just how much you'll be missing me

MzP & OlSkool (he really is old school huh? lol)

Countdown

10 minutes it took me to leave
9 reasons I didn't need
8 lies you already told
7 sins that took my soul
6 kids I never knew
5 traffik lights I just ran thru
4 miles to my next destination
3 hrs I listened to you explainin
2 reasons why I would never come back
1 is because I'm so much better than that

MzP